Zyn Now Selling Nicotine Free Pouches

In an attempt to capture a new market, Zyn has released its newest nicotine-free pouches. According to Zyn, “these nicotine-free pouches are meant to attract those that are trying to quit nicotine but still want something in their mouth that emanates the sensation of a 5-gum commercial.”

Although hard to find, we were able to snag a pack of these new pouches at the local corner store; from a secondary seller right outside the store in the back alley. When first picking up a pack you would not suspect these to be any different from a regular pack of Zyn. Other than these missing all the warnings about nicotine being an addictive chemical, there was practically no difference in the packaging. The similarities do not end there. After opening the pack and picking up a pouch it seemed as though Zyn had nailed this one. These new pouches were practically indistinguishable. The look, the texture, everything could’ve been doused in nicotine and we would’ve been none the wiser, but what about the taste? The feel?

Terrible. These nicotine-free pouches made me want to go back to nicotine faster than a couple of beers out on the patio after a long, stressful day at work ever could. Cigarettes, vape, chew, nicotine gum, literally anything other than these. Once in your mouth, you realize how truly awful these are. In order to keep the same texture as the original pouches, Zyn opted to replace the nicotine salt with regular table salt. Have you ever licked a line of salt before a tequila shot and not taken the shot? Although these do not come with a nicotine warning on the front of the pack, they should come with a sodium warning. If you are on blood pressure medication make sure to take it before putting one of these in.

By the mercy of the universe, you are saved from this salty undertaking in about a minute. Salt just sitting in your mouth dissolves pretty fast. What you are left with, however, is just as bad. The pouch quickly turns into the equivalent of a wet chewed-on piece of paper. An “upper decky” becomes a wet clumped-up mess that leaves you wishing you never tried to quit nicotine.

Overall these new nicotine-free pouches lose their appeal when you take away the one thing that made them appealing in the first place: nicotine.