30 Overlooked Trump Executive Orders
President Donald Trump’s second term is in its infancy, and much like when a child is in its infancy, rules are being thrown around left and right and made up as we go. Those rules, in the form of executive orders, are, ostensibly, being created daily; making it hard to keep up. To help catch you up, I have listed 30 executive orders issued by President Trump that may have been overlooked below:
Making everyone in the United States wear a name tag.
Making it mandatory that Lucky Charms keep a 1:1 ratio of marshmallows to oat pieces.
Removing the “America’s Team” moniker from the Cowboys.
Renaming the Willis Tower the Sears Tower.
Making the upper peninsula of Michigan a part of Wisconsin.
Combining the Dakotas and Carolinas, while splitting Virginia into North, South, and East Virginia, so when you include West Virginia there is a Virginia in every direction, and the number of states is kept at 50.
Selling the naming rights of government buildings.
Exiling the lone voter who voted no on Ichiro’s Hall of Fame ballot.
Consolidating Hardess and Carl’s Jr.
Reversing the direction of NASCAR races.
Outlawing the sale of pre-lit Christmas trees with lights that only last one Christmas.
Requiring Bungie to be the head studio for the Halo series again.
Renaming the Midwest the Mideast.
Creating an iron dome for America. A literal dome made of iron.
Requiring Nestle to add chocolate to their water sources.
Moving Taco Tuesday to Thursday.
Removing fluoride from tap water but adding it to soda so it offsets the effects the high sugar content has on tooth decay.
Replacing the dewy decimal system with the dewy fraction system.
Filling the Panama Canal and creating the Panama Interstate.
Making a live-action Osmosis Jones film.
Demanding the release of the director’s cut of the Star Wars prequels where Padmae has an affair with Jar Jar Binks.
Rereleasing all movies made within the last 10 years on laser disk.
Making the Pledge of Allegiance mandatory at all sporting events.
Withdrawing the United States from NATO because it is in North America not the North Atlantic.
Removing Roman numerals from the Super Bowl and replacing them with regular numbers.
Closing the border to Wuhu Island refugees.
Establishing a technology advisory committee that will help revive 3D.
Moving Independence Day so it lines up with the winter solstice, much like the church did with Jesus’ birthday.
Inverting the iMessage text bubble colors. Blue for Android; green for iPhone.
Renaming Canadian geese, American geese.